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yeah. o's officially started today. and i'm slacking away right now.
when it comes to release of results, i will probably regret and say, 'should have mugged'.
'o levels' will perhaps be added to my list of regrets then.


i tolerated. i really did. at least i tried.
perhaps i'm petty.
but the capacity of my tolerance is limited. and it's reaching its limits.
i see hope and that's why i have tried very hard to sustain.
yet, it looks like my efforts are in vain and i'm the only willing party.

i'm human too.
i have feelings, i have the ability to think. i have my rights.
and i have my fears, my phobia, my flaws.
but don't i have the basic right to know what i did wrong?
don't i have a chance to explain myself?

yeah, true. maybe it's really true.
life is too short to have everything explained.
there are some truths that will never be revealed.
and i just won't have enough time to explain everything in details.

and i will just have to say, i have had enough of explaining.
believe me or not, it's really up to you already.
further explanations will probably make you think i'm covering up my evil deeds.


humans, are scary creatures.
one moment she shared a secret with me and the next day, she aims a dagger at my back.
worse, i didn't feel the pain for so long.
when i found myself to be stabbed, she smiles at me, not knowing about my discovery.
i dislike him because of her. yet she dislikes me because of him. ha.
i wanted very much to salvage what i can, but who bothered?

don't ever say you hate backstabbers, you hate hypocrites.
you never know when you're going to be one.

a person will probably live in torment if he doesn't trust.
but trusting could mean having to live in torment too.
deceptions happen everytime, everywhere.

mrs gan says it's amazing how people can change.
nah, not really that amazing.
or perhaps, no longer is.

my mind hadn't been peaceful because my thoughts were at war.
they concluded that sometimes, harry is more trustworthy than any human is.
i got to agree. at least he's true, he has no evil intentions.
and the world out there is full of people in the ambush.

only today, that i realised i trust nobody but my mum.

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I'll never understand.

Some people, you try to break them before you build them. Some people, you are only remembered by them when they need your help. Some people, you spend time trying to change them only to realise you were never someone who could impact their lives. Some people, they hurt you so much but you know, they are just not worth it. So, don't bother. ASPIRE 2010 was a screwed yet another learning experience for me this time. I'd really like to thank my fellow peers for going through shit with me. And thank goodness that I believe in miracles. You never know what happens until the last minute, really. I never felt so shagged, and devastated about people.

All the small things.

So blonde Neo came with a packet of sushi and my chrysanthemum tea and Mr. Bean's pancakes. We continued to gorge ourselves with cones (actually just 2) of Cornetto which I bought to reward myself after a long time of not having eaten ice cream. We studied and also watched The Family Court. I really feel sad for AhWU that everyones hates his Leshan role but I guess he's right that actors and actresses like to see audiences' reactions towards their acting. What a breakthrough for him! Had supper with Shirl and Eh Chris! at somewhere nearby. Continued to study with Angie and we (or rather I) had a bad night because she was coughing quite badly. Blonde Neo I tell you, you better start drinking bottles of water when you get home today. NO MORE CHIPS!!! I'm watching you.... So anyway, in the morning we had Mac breakfast and Angie FINALLY invited me to her house wheeeeeeeee. Happening hor? Meeting the climates (Auntie Rainbow, Sunshine boy and Rain) later to celebrate mid-aut...